1982年度全美最滑稽的人称号获得者毕业讲演征集演讲英文文本求听力大侠赐墨

yush · 发表于 2010-5-18 21:38

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTcwMjExMzUy.html

1958年1月艾伦·德杰尼勒斯出生在路易斯安那的梅泰里。13岁时父母离异，艾伦跟随母亲搬到新奥尔良定居。
从事过女招待和售货员等多份工作后，她最终决定发挥自己的幽默感，成为一名喜剧演员。她在Clyde's喜剧俱乐部担任主持人期间，
曾获得Showtime1982年度“全美最滑稽的人”称号。

Ellen DeGeneres
姓名：艾伦·德杰尼勒斯

英文名：Ellen DeGeneres
出生年：1958年生日：1月26日
星座：水瓶座

职业：演员

taqikema · 发表于 2010-5-18 21:46

沙发一下！！！

yush · 发表于 2010-5-18 22:12

不要沙发，谁把英文原文全部写下来

taqikema · 发表于 2010-5-19 10:25

楼上的，去写！

yush · 发表于 2010-5-19 21:12

听力不犀利[s:70]

文仲影 · 发表于 2010-6-1 10:14

Thank you to all the graduating classes 2009. I realized most of you are hangovers and having spliting headaches and havent slept since fat Tuesday,
but you can't graduate till you finish listening up."

When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went to look up what commencement meant, which would been easier if I had a dictionary as most of the books in our house are Potia's and they are all written in Australian. So I had to break the word down myself
to find out the meaning. Commencement, commen, and cement. Commen, cement. You "commenly" see cement on sidewalks. Sidewalks have craps
and if you stepped on the crap, you break your mom's back, so there's death. But I'm honored that you asked me here to speak your commen cement.
I thought that you had to be a famous alumni ( "i" as in itchy ), alumni ( "i" as in "bondi"). you had to graduate from the school and i didn't go to college here. I don't know if President Kelvin knows, I didn't go to college at all, any college. I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm
a huge celebrity. ,

Although I did graduate from the school of **** (I didn't get it). I spent a lot of time here growing up. My mom worked at **** and I would go there
everytime I need to steal something out of her purse. But why am I here today, clearly not to steal from you. You are too far away and I'd never get
away from it. I'm here because of you. Because I can't think of more **** class. I mean, look at you, all wearing your robes. Usually when you are
wearing your robes at 10 in the morning, it means you've given up. I"m here because I love New Orleans. I was born and raised here. I spent
my **** here. Like you, when I was living here, I only did laundry 6 times.

'When I finished school, I was completely lost and by school, I mean middle school. But I went ahead and finished high school anyway. And I, I really
had no ambition. I didn't know what I want to do. I did everything, I ****. I was a hostess, I was a bar tender, I was a waitress. I painted houses, I sold vacumm cleaners, I had no idea. I thought I would just settle with some job and I would make enough money to pay my rent, and have basic cable,
maybe not. I didn't have a plan. My point is, by the time I was your age, I really thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea. Like for example, when
I was your age, I was dating men. So what I'm saying is, when you are older, most of you will be gay. Anybody rubbing this stuff down? Parents?
**Laugh**

Anyway, I had no idea what I want to do with my life and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event. I was, maybe 19 and my
girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I passed the accident and I didn't know it was her. I kept going and I found out shortly after it
was her. And I was living in a basement apartment. I had no money, I had no heat, nowhere. I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment
was infested by the flea. And I was so searching. I was like, why is she suddenly gone and there are fleas here. I don't understand. There must be a purpose. Wouldn't it be so convenient if we could just pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions. And I started writing and what
poured out me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided. And I finished writing, and I looked at it and said to myself and
I hadn't even been doing stand-up, there was no club in the town. I said, I'm gonna do this on Tonight's Show with Johnny Carson. At the time,
he was the king. And I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down and several years later, I was
the first woman in the history of the show and the only woman in the history of the show to sit down because of that phone conversation with
God that I wrote. And I started this path of stand-up and it was sucessful and it was great, but it was hard because I was trying to please everybody
and I had a secret that I was keeping that I was gay. And I thought if people found out, they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.
Then my career turned into.. I got my sitcom and that was very successful, another level of success. I thought if they found out I'm gay
and they would not watch. Hmm, and this was a long time ago. This was when we just had white presidents. But anyway,
this was back... many years ago! '

And I finally decided that I was living in so much shame and so much fear that I just couldn't live like that anymore. I decided to come out and make it creative and my character would come out at the same time. And it wasn't make it political statement. It wasn't to do anything other than to free
myself up from having this heaviness that I was carrying around. I just want to be honest. And I thought what would be the worst that could happen.
I could lost my career. I did. I lost my career. The show was canceled after 6 years without even telling me. I read on a paper. The phone didn't ring
for 3 years. I had no offers. Nobody would want to touch me at all. Yet I was getting letters from kids that almost commited suiside but didn't
because of what I did. And I realized that I had a purpose. And it wasn't just about me, it wasn't about celebrity. But I thought I was being punished.
It was a bad time. I was angry. I was sad. And I was offered to a talk show. And the people that offered me a talk show tried to sell it and most stations didn't wanna pick it up. Most people didn't wanna buy it coz they thought nobody would watch me. And really when I look back, I wouldn't
change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is to be true to yourself. And ultimately that's what God made to this place. I don't live in a fear. I'm free. I don't have a secret. I know I will always be ok because no matter what,
I know who I am.

So in conclusion, when I was younger, I thought success was something different. I thought when I grew up, I wanna be famous. I wanna be a star.
I wanna be in movies. When I grew up, I wanna see the world driving a nice car. I wanna have groupies, to quote the Pussycat Dolls. How many
people thought it was boobies btw. It's not. It's groupies. But my idea of success is different today. As you grow, you realize definition of success
changes. For many of you, today success is to hold down 20 shots of Tequila. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with
integrity and not to give up to peer pressure to try to be something that you're not, to live your life as a honest and compassionate person,
to contribute in some way.

So to conclude my conclusion, follow your passion, stay true to yourself. never follow someone else' path, unless you are in the woods and you are
lost and you saw a path. By all mean, you should follow that. Don't give advice. It will come back and bite at you. Don't take anyone's advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine. And I know a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to
worry. The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine. It's gonna be great. You've already survived a hurricane.
What else can happen to you. And as I mentioned before, some most devastating things that happen will teach you the most. Now you know
the right question to ask for your first job interview, "is it above sea level?" .

So to conclude my conclusion that I previously concluded in a commen cement speech. I guess what I'm trying to say is, life is like one big ***.
But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain. And if they like what they see, you'll have more beeps and you know what to do with.
And you'll be drunk, most of the time.

So Katrina class 2009, I say congratulations. And if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this, you're gonna be ok, dum doo doom
doom doom.. just dance.

在某论坛上发现的，直接非常不厚道的给粘过来了，期待yush修改后的最终版本[s:69]........

1982年度全美最滑稽的人称号获得者毕业讲演征集演讲英文文本求听力大侠赐墨

1982年度全美最滑稽的人称号获得者毕业讲演征集演讲英文文本求听力大侠赐墨

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