1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a
( c, e4 d; [1 w5 d R- w1 @2 ?2 tbike and asked for forgiveness.3 K1 B+ Z5 T0 a0 r; p$ Y, W
开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。 后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。 于是老子偷了一8 E$ S7 d& [5 x) a
辆然后求上帝宽恕。
3 N+ G" s- l7 q8 v( _9 Z0 [2 \& }2 p
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming a( d. D7 r3 u6 \) H/ H2 e) t
nd yelling like the passengers in his car.5 ^. N* A+ `1 u; N) c
我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一& W1 j3 b3 j! r5 O
样死法啊！
! _7 C9 l) m, r$ W# y# j4 j {& L; P
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you' V; G0 q) u f" X
with experience.) J( e* g* D0 P
你永远不能战胜一个纯SB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你
) Z) J$ Q, d! D4 `7 Q5 J$ C. q" B! k3 |1 H+ j5 M" j! H
. g: J4 n5 K" u; t: y& |) ^
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.0 W; m" V2 f+ u7 I! P, b) h/ g
直译：在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。
& {0 V6 W8 ], ]2 m4 h3 e" g) t1 t2 e) E! ^: i4 ?. l8 {8 c
意译a：我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。0 I3 g) }+ s- S' N/ i
8 s+ k' }1 e5 i9 p/ r: s, O+ C意译b：吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。
, ]% G2 t8 f# ?2 O6 @+ L$ a7 ?' W, y4 ~' E7 P
5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...7 f" X G/ U4 ~) n6 d. K
a. 如觉嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞...4 Q5 }$ [/ f$ o, p, {2 Z
9 r# [7 i$ k8 p2 Lb. 若XXOO是下体的痛，那么，是你操错。
0 x1 g% c* O' K8 {8 t" |5 M. T% |" I$ Y% B
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
% ~3 a) D4 q- P: a" F8 y1 _2 S1 ^8 G) b$ ?
a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！
: u9 \* \: p) [8 X/ O: ]; |5 H4 f" U. u8 ?3 _3 p& V
b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。8 E) H* x3 G! ^4 m2 B X! S/ y) U
7 ]6 u4 E, W# L4 f( g
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.: Z1 E6 T3 x! M0 @8 {* N9 r
在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.
$ R* I W+ ]/ @/ f# Z# [. G& g4 S7 l6 q: F
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd 0 s) G" A2 |9 n9 q
better have a good hand.7 ~* ~% U, }) o! E d4 ~
XXOO就象打桥牌。 如果对手不好使，自己的手必须好使。& R) L$ R! |1 j7 b" w
* D h5 T x1 ]9、 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you ca& h0 M: B ]% M- U4 k; ^: x: w4 J
n't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
& A2 P0 H- Y( Z! K u+ P$ a有些人就像 Slinkies （弹簧玩具），没什么实在用处，但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去
4 V+ l! Z( X0 q7 R2 a) T/ B- W) C还是很有喜感。4 R$ N6 X/ C3 `/ a( I/ w. F9 m, R
+ L( z$ ^& h1 D6 [3 [5 M
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be chan
$ A2 f6 W1 N" D8 N/ Qged regularly, and for the same reason.+ B |; W& T4 h& P1 q; A
政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是：他们都很有规律地被替换，而且因为同一个理由——脏
2 U5 Z) l% z7 c* O了！！
4 g5 e9 w9 {# ~) [. N: t
# u* N5 F6 f |# v; ^0 b$ K11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6 K! _# ^' p6 h( I战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。: _7 c3 K* f% n$ S" P
; n) c1 |2 l) N/ T/ F* @2 b% C
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship
( k- t& I1 j: n( d9 n.
' J' Q1 _( |! u( Xa. 女人的高潮可能是装出来的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是装出来的！
4 K7 G- B8 c" \1 U* \# H
( T5 M+ Y4 ~: |4 U4 Q. kb. 女人假装高潮以获取真实的感情；男人假装感情以获取真实的高潮。
6 r# ]) ^. ~0 T" v1 V4 |8 r' I. L5 y( j2 i( `" ~5 b3 u
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.5 Y& \! V$ t4 P5 G0 I; _8 l; B
我们永远不可能真正的成熟，我们只是学会在众人面前装逼。
( A3 k I, ]; y: a; j+ u
9 h. ]% ]- B; c% v1 Z; r% q! V14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erectio
" ~/ U3 z- P) J, un, make him a sandwich.0 z2 X0 D. Q) F8 G# _6 w
男人就两种状态：饿 和 性饥渴。 要是他不硬，就给他个三明治！
# m% h6 Y) o4 c% ~4 b% S P8 r# U9 X$ s. c/ l; F& M
15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright unt) g: S5 A, L( ^
il you hear them speak.6 l( a" m# i$ J; C$ b$ ]( f
光总是比声音跑的快点....这就是为嘛有些SB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他是在装B...' S+ G' |' ~ Q! x" F
3 v& N: \" V! C1 s
1 O& _) \# H1 z, K16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.0 U; h% D! a1 j$ z2 k
我妈每次对着我骂草泥马的时候都没看出其中笑点。
; g7 u, Z" W6 m
, h$ F* n" \/ }+ x8 t4 I! _' B4 v' }17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.5 ` |$ w# _" X
曾以为我想要的是职业，结果发现我只是想要工资。
6 u. F# u, V4 T2 W9 R1 J$ [- q% L1 Y" i( [
18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payment- `" z: D& C& C: _! _8 f4 @
s.
) @ v$ j4 S+ x8 a$ i% g' z" w4 |你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活,那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~
" `8 _: H; m$ ]2 m- w7 f$ J. k# l( k& A6 K5 H$ Y4 ~
19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
3 `7 Y# o/ f3 d9 @2 `& C, cXXOO并不是结论而是个问题...爽不爽才是答案... }2 l# [+ H" I1 h
$ l6 W; O3 {$ ?4 D" |& U- d20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to 3 Q' Q, t- \8 F& D( _6 G
tell you why it isn't.0 I+ H( A6 G9 \6 p2 x l1 ~
晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你你为什么好不了。$ r9 `$ e! y; h7 ]# E. c8 Q+ a8 V9 x0 D/ e
K) e, T' Y, d, y21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
# S! C4 M! T" C0 w8 Gbox to start a campfire?! m6 {0 c7 S1 X+ l8 B `
直译：一根火柴能点着整片森林，一盒火柴也生不起个营火，这咋回事！
~. X4 m o: {$ x" q意译：想当年哥戴套都能让人怀孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科: ]3 B; I7 t: f% K, a
! m# X2 p- F8 Q4 Z
22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoy. y) E. k/ P% C6 g, R4 p. Z
s it?
2 y$ T+ d g) G1 M! ?, ^如果4/5的人在忍受腹泻的痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事？很享受吗？. P5 R4 m- x: X& m
9 u: E& F1 X7 G; V
23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fr9 C! j$ ?) a+ q7 s! U9 }! g9 S
uit salad.' `: U% e. K' Q0 } `/ y0 k% ?3 _
直译：知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果；智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。% q3 o' K& J: G5 l3 S8 C+ w7 W
意译a：知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子，智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个+ H$ c' j1 \5 R L6 I5 v
篮子。
- l, P0 F K8 l8 E3 v意译b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后，但智慧的猫扑告诉你这终还是男女有别~
' V/ q- x8 V% o: Z$ u s
! v U' L' S+ d0 s24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
/ F! U a" t O/ |! v上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧！# W8 W6 I3 j# x2 t- M4 c
' V/ W: ^: p+ y ~: B2 L25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
+ o1 t5 L4 o! L1 ~% a* Msame night.' z5 [% v4 P- D7 h- x
无论，在任何情况下，永远，不要在一个夜晚，同时吃，安眠药，和通便灵。
1 M/ e" c0 Y: k2 b. p7 {6 r. s# u
26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian6 D0 U F' {1 h7 t8 T% K7 Z! }0 M
老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端，不是为了成为一个素食者。+ u2 e. o) N5 o3 }
6 F' K! Q7 M7 p/ h( T- y5 i* r# T
27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops0 h9 @* P+ G- I4 n
. On my desk, I have a work station..+ _% {' ^& k4 C7 Y0 r# y
公车站呀公车停。火车站呀火车停。俺桌上有个工作站…
2 c) v+ ~0 o1 Q( J! q7 k S6 m
: f7 u) H- A( j% V3 ?28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
- f8 i: L4 b, d% F, _要是我听你的，咱俩就都2B了。* Z: Q* Q3 o; i& j+ l! `1 V
0 F. L* [6 \! I# j% ~29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captiv; U7 [, j7 J9 ~- z6 F8 ]8 X* |- m
ity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw the7 T: n6 H) k1 E# w
m fish?) L- g6 E( Y/ P% M# R
海豚可聪明了你知道不？只要驯养几个星期，它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃
- z5 F( y- [- v5 v了。/ s5 k+ t/ s: J5 d
& U, b, a, x+ b5 S* {
30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxin Q4 @' p$ u9 ] J) v- }
g.
n. o% ?1 _& V7 h% m; ]a. 下棋，我不行；玩跆拳道，电脑不行！) U: \; ~9 S5 b1 m7 S. a% ~
b. 下象棋电脑把我玩得团团转，拳击我能把机箱踹得七零八散！6 ~* w0 [6 i6 e" r: D, v* \
# m# h, X. o6 J* _6 k$ h1 r
31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implan- s8 s, a3 [1 N- s: a
ts?"$ g4 {6 Y: Y0 M; ?" X
瞅见个姐姐，胸前衣服上写着“Guess”...俺就问了一句：“...隆过？” L7 q6 U W3 Y( |5 k& x h2 j
2 B% l) c' c: R' f* p32、 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk
. u. z- L& P- j6 Q1 Yand talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-
' @1 x6 h5 ?3 o- wup.9 |5 r! z. o: b4 A+ K& Z: y+ o
孩子就是：你先花2年，教丫们走路和说话。然后你再花16年教丫们坐定和闭嘴。 W7 P& \% Q- s
/ v; u+ A% M, Y" h3 t
33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, bu
9 W* C% U4 p+ q/ V* Qt check when you say the paint is wet?
6 ?, \ l% }& z- D% {% L, }3 N为什么当你说天上有400亿星星时他不怀疑，却偏要检查你所说的“油漆未干”？
3 o/ p) L" \' p2 d
0 t7 f9 D ]: {2 N) S& `34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove al
( c8 h' S# g6 ~# f# P* z0 R3 xl doubt., O* `# a: s s# r
a. 宁愿闭嘴当傻瓜，也别学乌鸦乱呱呱。
5 B# l r3 ?* V7 c, Tb. 越解释越SB，不说话最NB。, c$ f% ~- F* l* O
c. 剽悍的人生不需要解释
% u& [; q& e" y( o" E+ N, i+ @d. 猫扑里德话说就是：宁可闭口被人当SB，也不张口解释所有疑。
# C# w; j; L; V" w5 q) G0 C. U
% K% K! W) Q* N& R1 J+ ?35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don': ?# w4 w# J5 }0 o3 }
t need it.+ ~' B, P/ t, @* W; E
银行就是当你证明了你不需要钱的时候可以借钱给你的地方
( t( U& e# J- B7 Z& e: M- p$ Y; [/ l
; R' |, N W& X: G36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does." K$ r" }7 b5 h* ~- P% q
a.对你的问题哈哈大笑吧，别人都在这么做。: D/ b; i* Q! r% V' r& @5 P
$ w5 z R4 X. c) T9 R! C3 ib. 你有什么不开心的？说出来给大家开心开心。* }) p% u: @. C, [" Y, ?
0 h9 y: I8 F0 q D, w/ T37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
- k: X9 k0 X& e4 n N- la. 我知道没人在我脑子里跟我聊天，但那些话真TM有用！
3 N/ i( `. D7 c: p0 r意译：我幻想的低吟不一定是真的，但足够让我意淫- T! i; w' ?1 w% l# A- C
1 w: D5 ?$ V9 t: a, Z4 Y# S
38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.1 W: c3 t3 U" t5 h
a. 无愧于心哈？记性不好吧？
# A( C) R1 R# Y1 R) L意译b： 自从那次在人妖身边醒来，每次去夜店我都提醒自己“一定要戴眼镜……”2 v9 Y* |/ Q" n3 A0 Y
c. 意识清醒了，意味着不堪回首了。
; g" O7 T/ k2 f/ u1 F/ l9 f/ i; x4 U0 k
39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
; l- }7 i9 G5 g) S3 p, [3 P$ [a. 所谓的好姑娘，咳！就是还没被群众抓到的JP女·····
# Q& {4 J4 n& |/ d2 O% {7 Ib. 想立牌坊就得会装
, f1 Z! R! w) |( P1 F6 f M. s2 m$ J' q x8 B- x) I
40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame./ K8 L [ o3 N
临危忽然微笑的那谁，定是找到替罪羊鸟~$ p( j% G9 i/ m$ v2 D3 D4 J
! H2 \( C/ X w
41、 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with# ?, D7 v. e0 G* H8 M. G
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
; G" P* H) h; N8 _2 x4 U* z6 r如果女人能做到以秃顶和啤酒肚在大街上晃还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等
% s" ]3 b' _- r. V$ G% V3 {2 g。
7 m. g/ h0 n: o4 Q2 s9 V4 r3 A9 A7 K& d+ Y
42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
( w! ^" v- p& h/ w% [( b# v8 K0 E小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。3 @; |4 q" b$ M
+ E; x. w6 R2 K0 U( ]; [
43、The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad gi5 ?) p& [3 H: |- e8 B; C9 j
rls live.
9 p% s7 I4 ?. S/ a1 j圣诞老人当然美，他知道所有YD妞住哪儿啊！0 L8 S3 l4 \ a& q, u1 y
7 x: N% D% }" t: m5 V44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is resear' e/ V1 D1 o1 g5 ~# T9 ]
ch.
- e% d( f3 t I6 c3 n& H$ g剽窃一个人的叫剽窃，剽窃许多人的叫研究。
* X ]' o i9 [- J8 B意译：窃钩者诛，窃国者为诸侯。/ } M) y! D1 H5 C
; d3 Z% ^5 L& H& l2 C: m; G2 P
45、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
' R* r& Z) a" i' E- ^" K有些人一来大家就开心了；有些人一走大家就开心了。.
( c- Z B2 @. v; i* r
: q2 [: P# ~& R0 |! O2 L46、 I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a
. j y9 q0 Z- [2 U) b, [4 }great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
: a \& H% {1 x Z* a& {我发现，我滴脚丫被一小片儿海藻擦过时，我滴那个惨叫声——和我被大白鲨吓坏时的惨+ m/ \" P# q0 w5 q
叫声是一样滴。- m \0 \& A9 s9 d
$ r6 N& O2 V) c5 b8 R47、Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.) ~7 E3 ? m- V9 |( [# f6 w D
直译：你若是挤满人的电梯里的小矮人，肯定能嗅出不同的味儿。- Z1 Q0 a, B! s) Q
意译：灵感来自于所站的角度与众不同。
# I9 k1 g3 m) X
( E3 s: Q* [- |6 ?$ Z48、I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
' O) V S/ Q, y6 Q) A' D我可没怨你！我是在谴责你！5 s, D/ F9 W7 b$ [' C2 s5 o
* @/ |& i+ C0 `; f' k
49、 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergenc
0 J( M K+ c1 j+ n$ f* o+ \y, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
( n" W" s# d) ~* T! M当我填表的时候，有一项是“紧急情况联系：” 我填上了“医生”，到时候我妈能帮上什
{' o4 G% r4 t" F5 [么忙？！5 D7 L6 F6 Q3 A, M
7 L1 p% {7 L- B( z; }
50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.2 k9 v$ g6 u6 }+ r
上帝一定倍儿爱SB，不然他造这么多！！！！！！！
# z* `5 C* J$ u8 o# n4 ?$ J |
[复制链接]
发表于 2011-4-5 19:49
![【1126号】书籍旅行者3：哥特式故事ChinaAVG汉化版[858MB]](data/attachment/forum/202411/08/185805cvi1r0xgixdpzif6.jpg)
QQ好友和群
QQ空间
腾讯微博
腾讯朋友
收藏
分享
很美好
很差劲
楼主
